I’ll admit I have, in the past, avoided an outright note on comments policy because I’d hoped, ultimately, to avoid one. I am at heart an optimist and think that we really can all get along; even when people act disrespectfully, I still believe they might, at some point, come around. They might view things with a slightly more open mind.
That said, however, I know that I’ll end up writing about controversial topics. I always do. Religion or faith or science or feminism or politics… the wonderful thing about having a blog is that it’s my worldview (hence: Will in the World). And given that, I know there will come, in the future, topics I’ll have a strong opinion about with which other people will completely disagree.
And that’s awesome, so far as I’m concerned. I enjoy disagreement. I have a lot of extraordinarily close friends with whom I disagree on certain subjects, and I like that, because my friends are smart and brilliant and passionate, and who wants to agree about everything? In any good story, progress comes not as a result of complacency but rather from conflicts, tensions, and (sometimes) resolution. I would never want the world to be filled with clones of me, a bunch of people who thought and felt and saw the world the way I do. That’d drive me completely batshit insane.
So I expect disagreement, but I also expect respect. I expect not to be called names on my own blog, and I expect people not to call anyone else a name, either. I expect people to honor each other. On all levels.
To fully explain this, I accept some help from Greg Behrendt:
That’s the comment policy here, as I think it should be the policy in life. First, that we should honor each other. That we should respect each other. That we should acknowledge we are all of us different but also that we can learn from each other.
And second:
That. You. Must. Rock.
It’s not just that you’re better than anyone who doesn’t honor you–it’s also that you have an obligation.
Not just to other people. Not just to the world.
You owe it to yourself to be awesome.
Rocking isn’t a job. It’s an obligation.
What’s the point of life, after all, if you’re not being awesome?
So rock. Contribute. Honor yourself. Be proud of who you are, because you’re awesome. So bring it, every time out, and devote your energy to others you’re not calling asswipes.
May 2, 2008 at 12:50 pm
I find in writing comments and messages via eBay and email, it’s best to be as diplomatic as possible. I’ve had several people misinterpret what I’ve written, and it’s always difficult to try and rectify that without taking it personally on both ends. I’ve gotten stronger, though, and I think it’s important to recognize that not everyone will agree, or understand, regardless of how clear you are. Some people are just waiting for a flame war, because they’ve got nothing else to entertain them. They’ll be right no matter what points are highlighted.
Name calling is silly though, because in face to face communications people are generally more understanding.
There’s a certain degree of professionalism that I like to uphold, especially in blog comments.
I mean, it’s challenging enough to put yourself out there and write a blog, nevermind when people forget their manners.
May 2, 2008 at 5:08 pm
A good rule of thumb: if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t post it on your blog or anyone else’s blog.
I instituted a general code of conduct for my blog when I first started my own private venture. Basically, it boils down to being a good person–all around–myself included. So many people don’t take the time to actually listen to other people. They’re so stuck in their own worlds. It’s annoying.
May 2, 2008 at 6:48 pm
I have a few questions. One, will you ever post the episode where you guest stared on his show? Two, what are your plans if women fire panties at you for either writing or for teaching? Three, have your read Zombie Zen? Did a specific comment spark this or did you just have a night mare?
I am just gonna warn you now that where as you haven’t done anything yet to deserve being called a cotton headed ninny muggins, I am pretty sure you will do something or say something. And when that day comes I will call you a cotton headed ninny muggins. Mind you I will probably deserve being called one my self but I am just putting it out their so it’s not a shock to your system.
I watched shakespere in Love via your recomendation. Now you go watch Elf via my recomendation. It’s got guy named Will in it so you will like it. I can’t keep making this joke if you don’t watch the movie. I’ll have to go back to putting people in drag.
May 2, 2008 at 7:46 pm
@Will: Glad you liked it!
@Lisa and Alma: very good maxims/tenets to abide by. John Scalzi jokes, in his own comment policy, that you should imagine that the person you’re talking to is in front of you, seven feet tall, well muscled, and has a fantastic legal team. Funny ’cause it’s true.
@Gotham: if I ever come into a copy of it, I’ll try to post it. If women fire panties at me during a reading, I’ll blush (as for teaching, well, that’d be extraordinarily inappropriate. And I’d blush harder). I have not read Zombie Den.
And no, it wasn’t a specific comment; it was a couple, mainly from the “feminists” who commented on a few of the controversial posts. The sad thing was, I thought everyone had interesting things to say and genuinely wanted to hear them, until they started with the whole “privileged fuck” and “asswipe” thing. And for the record, cotton-headed ninny muggins is quite a far cry different from calling someone a privileged fuck or an asswipe.
I’ll look for that movie.
May 2, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Zombie Zen not Den. It teaches Zen through the life style ( can it be called a life style) of Zombies.
Oh Will, if you really think that cotton-headed ninny muggins is a far cry from priveleged fuck or ass wipe then clearly your not in touch with your inner elf nor are you up to date with elf culture.
May 2, 2008 at 8:35 pm
@Gotham: probably deathstyle, I’m thinking. (which, yes, implies that gay zombies lead alternative deathstyles)
May 3, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I was thinking un-life style. You know, un-dead and un-life style. I don’t know if you can have gay zobies though. Not that I’m against it but I don’t know if zombie can love or be sexually attracted to anything any more. However, I suppose if they were gay before they became zombies then that would make them a gay zombie.
I put to much thought into that.
May 12, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Well isn’t it just grand that rocking, is something that Chrissa does best.
May 13, 2008 at 12:38 pm
It’s about damned time you showed up.