- Houghton-Mifflin, purveyors of the textbook of said statistics. Who decided that even though I spent nearly $150 purchasing their textbook, I could only download it once, and then only to one computer, and only then using Adobe Digital Editions. Who the hell uses Adobe Digital Editions? And seriously, I get the new Coldplay, I rip it to my computer, I can listen on any device I want, but I spend nearly ten times as much and you lock me in? It’s a statistics textbook for a business course, and that business model makes me question just how damned authoritative you actually are. Business is about relationships and transactions with your customers. I am your customer, and you totally and completely failed me.
- PUMA supporters. Which, apparently, stands for “Party Unity My Ass.” Have you heard of this? All the sad supporters of Hillary who are upset she lost and decided that Obama is the antichrist, and that McCain/Palin is a good choice because Palin is, like, a chick? God, I’m so tired of everyone backhanding Obama and treating McCain/Palin like they wouldn’t be 8 more years of the same. Dear female PUMA supporters; take your heads out of your collective twats long enough to acknowledge that feminism is about more than simply voting for anyone in a skirt.
- McCain/Palin. McCain had his shot in 2000 and blew it hard, and it’s honestly a damned shame that the past 8 years weren’t a McCain administration, but his time is now gone. He sold out every ounce of integrity he ever had for the nomination, and when once he valued straight talk he now can’t speak without a teleprompter. Add to his equation Caribou Barbie, who is a non-issue and whom I will now begin treating as one, because calling her a Tina Fey-lookalike is a total insult to Tina Fey. Take your polar bears and your bridge to nowhere and your $20 million in debt for Wasilia and retreat to your northern hinterlands, because a view of Russia is not foreign policy.
They’re full of more fail than Houghton-Mifflin’s textbook.
- Lulu.com, printers of my collection. Between their basic nadir of customer service (which seems to spring from a complete and utter lack of respect for their customers/authors), their total unprofessionalism in moderating their user forums, and their completely ambiguous cover-their-arses clauses they disguise as a “terms of service” contract, pretty much the main reason I’ve decided to remove my collection from availability via their site is that my readers are my highest priority, and you deserve better (I assume you are a reader if you are reading this).
- The self-publishing community, which is largely (though with some notable exception) filled with self-righteous amateurs who couldn’t produce a salable manuscript even with James Patterson writing every other paragraph. Dear authors: publishing doesn’t owe you any-fucking-thing, and neither do readers, and if you’re not finding either, chances are it’s because you think you’re entitled to both and you’re simply not.
- People who invoke Shakespeare in the ‘genre v. literary’ debate even though it seems that they never read anything the Bard from Avon actually wrote (I’m looking at you, IO9). Dear bloviators: just because old white guys completely out of touch with anything awesome wet their collective knickers at his mention, let’s not forget Shakespeare wrote not a single play that didn’t include sword fights, fairies, witches, or romance, and often got ’em all at the same time.
Know why? Because Shakespeare was awesome.
- “Black Betty had a child, bam-ba-lam, damned thing gone wild”
- ZOMG We’re on the Goddamned MOON