Multiple Enthusiasms

Infinite jest. Excellent fancy. Flashes of merriment.

Novels on a cell phone? We haz tehm.

I read somewhere, I believe, that something like three of the top five bestselling novels in Japan last year were published via cell phones. Interesting, in its way; the idea seems popular, and I’m all for getting new readers and new books to those new readers any way possible. But I wonder a bit about the content. I try not to judge such things, because it makes me feel like a pompous douchebag, but I worry that the kind of novels that lend themselves to being read serially via cellphone are the kind of novels, say, Tila Tequila might write (if you don’t know who she is, count yourself lucky).

Amusingly, though, I caught a feature in the latest issue of Esquire–great works of literature as text messages.

Click the image below to visit the slideshow:

I had some ideas for others:

Macbeth: “I can haz crown? Out damn spot!”

American Gods: Meet new godz. Same as old onez.

Old Man’s War: “I fite everything! My DAN makes me teh wassum!!11”

Hamlet: 2 b or not? Not.


  1. Re: Hamlet – Dat iz da quesdun.

    My younger siblings tease me for being “old school”. I have no idea how to either recieve or send text messages. I refuse to write in that language.

  2. For anything Martin McDonagh…”midgets…*#(@*…duck.”

  3. I seen da enemy n he iz us. ~ Lord of the Flies
    Sumpin smellz rottin out dere. – Richard III
    I killz fer fun an wearz nice cloths – American Psycho

    This is fun! It’s too bad I’m lousy at it.

  4. @Lisa: yeah, I’m not a big fan of texting, either. Though I do know how to, at least.

    @Alma: That’s awesome! And spot on. I’m just starting to acquaint myself with McDonagh.

    @Chartroose: I wouldn’t say that at all–those were awesome. Loved the American Psycho one. Ha!

  5. How about we do it with crappy movies, like the ones nickelodian makes. That way no one can say liturature is being reuined.

    I spi wit mi litle i.. _ Hariot the Spy
    lol – Sponge Bob Movie
    I can haz cheesburger? – Good Burger

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