Holy Hell it’s been a while, hasn’t it?
I didn’t plan on that; if I had, I probably would have said something.
I’ve been otherwise occupied, obviously. For myriad reasons. Thinking less and getting on with things, which is generally a fine way to go about it. This past year was difficult in several ways, including two major moves, the end of a long relationship, and overall a lot of change and flux. I think it culminated a few weeks ago when I didn’t get into NYU; I’d looked forward to going back up to Manhattan to attend school there. There have been false starts and falser hopes, but in the end you live and learn and I’m still, in ways, absorbing some lessons. It is, in ways, like that moment in The Matrix when Neo mainlines kung fu, except for the fact that there’s a steeper learning curve, and more time necessary with new knowledge before the application thereof.
The reason for the actual break from blogging was simple, though: I was getting deep into a project called Meets Girl, which is going really well, lately, and which came alive to me in ways previous drafts didn’t. It’s the first thing I’ve retried since I got my Master’s; I started this new draft not long after I graduated, if I’m not mistaken. Which means it’s taken a long time, but the nature of the story and the telling of it have challenged me in ways I haven’t expected. Which you’ll understand when you read it, and which may come sooner than later.
I didn’t expect it to take so long as it has, but then I had an idea for a screenplay I had to go with. It was one of those 6 a.m. ideas so powerful it leaves you no chance of getting back to sleep, and I wrote the first act in a two-day mad rush of ideas and fun and laughing at myself.
It has since slowed down, but I’m about midway through, now, and it’s going well.
It’s all going well. I can’t complain, I’ve realized. Not in this lifetime.
But that’s not the whole explanation. The whole explanation and the whole reason I haven’t posted is because I suddenly started to feel very ambivalent about blogging. I think I was eleven when I realized I wanted to be a writer, and the only thing I ever wanted to write, growing up, was novels; they’re all I read, besides a handful of short stories. When I started blogging a few years ago, I thought it might be a good way to somehow become a better writer, but, I’ve realized I think that’s rather a bit like trying to become a better golfer by playing pool–sure, there’s a ball and a hole and a stick, but that’s now how you–no, don’t–what’re you–?
That’s not how it works, sir.
That’s not to say there’s no room for a pool table in the golf clubhouse, of course. Just, priorities; nobody’s in the clubhouse for the felt. The felt is an afterthought.
I’ve now arguably belabored the metaphor, and I don’t even like golf.
So I’m finishing a novel and a screenplay. In the meantime, I’ve been doing more on Twitter, which you can see right there in the sidebar. I plan to come back here at some point. I plan to post more. But I plan to use it differently than I was before. Best laid plans etc., but then again, sometimes it’s good to have one if only so there’s something to aim for, even if you finally miss.
April 21, 2009 at 10:52 am
I know firsts are so last year.
April 21, 2009 at 10:53 am
I had no idea that you had a blog page in the first place.
I like the things that you do.
April 21, 2009 at 10:59 am
I am not sure if I can ever really “blog” again. At least, not as I had before.
Whatever I had, I lost it.
Now, after nearly 10 years of not being able to, I think I might be almost ready to tell a story.
I would loooove to read this story, the one I think you’ve written. I love your stories in general, but this one might excite me (which is funny, considering, I don’t have any true idea of what it’s about)
April 21, 2009 at 11:31 am
Chrissa, I miss your written perceptions.
April 21, 2009 at 12:19 pm
@Wicked: yep! Nice to see you here.
@Chrissa: you should. Stories are fun. And I would loooove to read my story, too! It’s certainly been exciting me.
April 21, 2009 at 12:33 pm
In high school’s creative writing class we started every day with a 10-minute stream of consciouness-type exercise based on whatever topic the teacher had written on the board when we walked in. I loved it, and always thought it would be fun to do that kind of thing in a blog. Except now there’s no teacher to TELL me what topic to write about, which kind of spoils the fun.
Anyway, glad to see you back, from wherever you’ve been hiding. If NYU isn’t in the cards, why not try USC?
April 21, 2009 at 1:14 pm
You mean you would love for me to read your story, or you would love to read your story? 😉
April 21, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Kelly: ah, yes, writing exercises. I’ve never been good at those. I’ve always been more the type to just go for it and make mistakes and figure things out as I go.
April 21, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Nice blizzog! Good to finally read something from you for the first time in like, forever, it seems.
April 22, 2009 at 2:54 pm
For a long time I felt like I was in this boat that was sinking. It never sank but it could never float. Some days the water was higher then others. I could read your blogs though and I could see that other people were in boats that weren’t sinking. It gave hope to the hopeless which was nice. Then I got some good medication that got rid of my insomnia and lessened my anxiety. My boat was leaking but not sinking and I didn’t need your blogs though I still enjoyed them. My insurance company dropped me so I’m back in a boat that sinking really bad. Just when that happens though you write a blog and though the water feels like it’s up to my neck I can look up and see that yours is afloat.
My point is that your blogs do serve a purpose even if it not the one you intended and I thank you very much for that. Course you could always do what Kevin Smith did and turn your blogs into a book. 🙂 Your both from New Jersey. It could work.
May 15, 2009 at 11:06 am
Hey, I’m sorry the NYU bit didn’t work out, but I’m glad you’re busy with your writing. If you got into NYU, you probably wouldn’t have the time or desire to do all the awesome creative things you’re doing right now anyway.
See how that works?