Lots of religious posts today, of course. Lots of children with smiles missing teeth searching all over their yards for embryos in hardy shells (decorated rapturously and exuberantly) by, of course, a six-foot tall bunny.
So let us not forget what Easter is truly, and has always been, about:
Bunny rabbits are for shagging, and eggs are for fertility.
It is, to be pointed, simply a more explicit version of Valentine’s day, just without the saint and all the Hallmark hooey.
(what is it about us that prevents us from the simple celebration of love and sex in all their grandeur? Why must we throw commerce and religion into the mix at every available opportunity?)
And it’s one of the few years I can remember when the spring festive came so close to the actual start of spring.
I tried to post a video of my cousin playing a sexhityune; if YouTube will let me, I still may.
In the meantime, instead, some Steven Brust and Eddie Izzard.
From Brust, “My Girlfriend Is a Pagan”:
My girlfriend is a pagan, she don’t believe in Christ.
Theologically suspect, but in practice kind of nice.
She’s teaching me her favorite fertility rites.
And every time I learn one, I yell out Jesus Christ.
My girlfriend is a pagan, I truly have been blessed.
I don’t mind the pentagrams, or the lack of rest.
We’ve been doing all we can to see the crops don’t fail.
If when I die I meet with Pan, I’ll shake him by the tail.
My girlfriend is a pagan, I guess she is a witch.
She prays to her Goddess while wearing not a stitch.
She says incense and crystals give her mystic energy
And she has to use it somewhere, which works out best for me.
My girlfriend is a pagan, who could ask for more?
At the altar she’s a heathen, in the bedroom she’s just fine.
I’m happy as a pig in shit, what more can I say?
My girlfriend is a pagan and I’m learning how to pray.
And from Eddie Izzard:
- Color me surprised
- You’re so beautiful you could be a waitress