A year from yesterday, I’m getting married. Which means that, in less than one year, my life of singledom will end.
I met the girl I’m marrying several years ago, and we were best friends for a long time before anything more than that developed between us. Then, when it did, the relationship that grew began to (and continues to) surprise me in ways I never thought possible.
Being affianced (which just means engaged, but sounds like I should be wearing a monocle to go with my bowtie, which is why I like the word) is interesting, especially on the gentleman’s side of things. When I first became engaged, many seemed to think my role was over for two years while my fiancee and her mother took over the planning and execution of our wedding.
This is not what occurred. Because who wants that?
Me, I like parties. I love my girl. I’m pleased to say that I love my mother-in-law-to-be, as well. So although popular notions seem to be that I sit back and let them do all the work and plan all the things and make all the choices, I don’t think I’d have ever been happy with the idea.
And I thought I’d share a little about my side of it, if only because, so far as I can see, it’s rare for a guy to discuss it. There are plenty of wedding blogs and wedding sites and bachelorette etc., but when it comes to dudes, it seems like there’s tuxedo, bachelor party, choice of groom’s party, and end. Which is totally not the approach we’ve taken.
I asked my girl to marry me a little more than a year ago, and over the course of the year we’ve chosen venue, band, and florist. Also taken care of is catering, which is tied to the venue.
Through it all, I haven’t simply “been involved”; I’ve actively participated.
Now I admit, I haven’t looked through wedding magazines (all of which are targeted specifically and solely to brides. I’ve not seen a single Groom magazine though I’ve seen just about every potential derivation of Bride, be she modern, contemporary, American . . .) to the extent my girl has, but that’s because a huge swath of said magazines is devoted to dresses, and I’ve got that covered. I decided from the start I was going to purchase a midnight blue tuxedo (because I feel a gentleman should own a tux for such occasions as require one), and I’ll decide cut and fabric and such when I get to that point.
My fiancee has myriad more options when it comes to dressing. And ruffles. And rouching. WordPress is saying I misspelled that, and I might have, but I can pronounce it and even know what it is off the top of my head (it’s like a sorta sideswept look and seems to have a bit of a slimming effect).
While I leave those magazines to her, she shares any ideas she has. And moreso, she knows my tastes, which are basically simple, elegant, and timeless. I sometimes like modern and accents and such, but when it comes down to it, I’m the sort of gentleman who would buy a tux because I know that a real, great tux never goes out of style and looks fantastic.
So we discuss colors and design and decoration and . . .
Now, with just less than a year to go, things get more crazy. Our first year of engagement was easy-breezy. We went to a venue, checked out a band. We did things whenever we got around to it. We had plenty of time. Date wasn’t for, like, a year and a half.
Not the case anymore.
Sadly, I was unable to participate in the most recent evolution of planning, which was meeting with our wedding planner, because I got very ill (my fiancee came down with the same illness just the following day, which I’m guessing is basically how such things work in a marriage. You share everything, including mistresses and illnesses). On the other hand, from the sound of it, nothing was actually decided during said meeting, only discussed, and plans were made. Said plans included things like going shopping for linens. Which you have to do, because tablecloths!
That’s next week. Also, we have to talk to the florist and figure out the rehearsal dinner and hotel arrangements.
This should be fun…