7 Comments

  1. Congratulations!! I remember the run up to my wedding, largely because it had to be packed into gaps I could carve out in my life at the time, which was my final year of university, so I was swotting for exams and trying to find a venue as we had not done any planning beyond setting the date until six months before the date.We also neither of us had a job or a home at that point; but by the day, all but a job for me had fallen into place.
    The only advice I can offer is simply that in the end, it is just one day. It is also the first day of your married life, but still only a day. Worrying too much about the accessories is counter productive. Just enjoy time with each other as much as you can.
    We never had a honeymoon either, but we plan on having one next year for our silver wedding anniversary….

  2. My fiancee has myriad more options when it comes to dressing.

    Oh, man. There are so many dresses out there it’s ridiculous. For my wedding I went with something simple without beads and with a ruched (you were close, by the way. Minus the “o”) style. So many hours of looking! My husband just went to Men’s Warehouse once, found the fabric, style, and cut of his tux, and that was that. I was jealous. I admit, I’m not really, well, womanly. I wear jeans all the time and a dress three times in my life (the third time being for my wedding), so this parade of dresses and such was really hard.

    I will say that my husband helped me pick out the dress (totally taboo there, I know, but oh well), my shoes, flowers, everything. He was really active in the process, and his family members kept calling him whipped and stuff.

    I think men can be involved, but a lot of them are told they don’t have to, their women exclude them, so what else is there to do? Answer: go play more video games while the lady freaks out about beading and ruched bodices and flowers and hair (oh, Lord, do we flip out about hair) and veils. You get the point. Haha.

    Oh, and a fun piece of advice: something will go wrong or not turn out ideally how you or your lady wanted, but that’s half the fun, that imperfection. And, almost always, you will be late by at least fifteen minutes. Hope you have a happy day and try to enjoy the process! It’s stressful, but you (hopefully!) only go through it once, and man — it goes by fast!

  3. For a long time, I wanted to be involved in dress selection, but we’ve reached a compromise there, and one I’m more happy with. And I think you’re right, though I don’t think it’s so much that women actively exclude men; I think society tends to just naturally assume men don’t want to be involved so there’s no reason even to address them.

    And I’m not saying that’s not true in many cases. But it’s not true in all of them, for certain.

    You can rest assured, for example, I will be worrying over my hair. I sheepishly admit I sort of always do.

  4. I think you have a point about society just assuming men don’t want to be involved. Most people were surprised that my husband wanted to be involved in the process, and he really did, mostly to make sure it was perfect for the both of us. Something super special, you know?

    Honestly, hair is worth worrying over. But, being a woman, I could be slightly biased. Haha. Though I don’t think worrying over your hair is truly a gender-only thing.

  5. Big congrats, Will!

    Here’s what I tell everyone: make sure you spend at least one night in your own place before leaving for your honeymoon. You’ll have more fun and be a lot less stressed out that way.

    And well played, giving the shout-out to your mother-in-law-to-be.

  6. Thanks, Greg. Sounds like sound advice! I think we’re going to actually honeymoon quite a ways after the ceremony. Our plan right now is Sandals Antigua, which seems to be best in January. Give us something to look forward to over the holidays.

    I totally agree with super special, Elisa. And about hair, too. Ha!

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